Inspired

In the last couple of weeks, I have had many moments of inspiration. Moments that have made me feel that I couldn’t have been at a better place and I couldn’t have met better people. Moments that reminded me of books I read when I was small, of conversations I have had with people. Moments that made me feel that yes, this is what I want my life to be like.

And then that inspiration sweeps in armed with satisfaction.

Lokesh

When I started my Teach For India fellowship last year, Lokesh was one of those kids who stood out. He would take out his food an hour before the break and casually start eating in front of me. He would run home 5 minutes before the bell would ring. He would get up and walk out of the classroom any time he felt like. He didn’t know his alphabets or his number and he didn’t care. He would shout in class, run around, tap his pencil on the desk constantly.

All with the cutest smile on his face.

Lokesh was my challenge. I knew if I could get through this kid in class, my two years would be successful. He didn’t give a damn about school, about his new teacher, about his parents hopes for him.

And slowly I realised that I aimed so low. The day Lokesh got a 1 on 10, an improvement from his usual blank papers, he changed. His ascent had began. He still finds it really hard to read and write his alphabets and count numbers, but he can add and subtract like its nobody’s business. He doesn’t understand everything that is being taught in class, but he tries his best. The few things that he gets, he reproduces them with perfection. Show him a picture of a cat jumping on a table and ask his what the cat is doing, he’ll look at you with a puzzled face. Show him the the Water Cycle, and his face will light up as he explains to you in broken language what it is.

All with the cutest smile on his face.

This boy never fails to tug at my heartstrings. He inspires me everyday. The other day he read a story all by himself. The other day he did a ten digit addition question in less tha a minute. The other day he made the most colourful drawing. The other day during silent time, he sat calmly for the whole 2 minutes.

I have  success stories about him every single day. He keeps me going.

Rohan and his Mother

Rohan is this little boy in my class, much like Lokesh, he also has a lot of difficulty reading and writing alphabets and numbers. He had spent most of his time trying to be invisible in class so that I won’t notice what he couldn’t do. But today, he shines. Even though he writes mirror images of numbers, his mathematical skills have become almost at par with the best of the class. He relentlessly gets after me to explain to him that one question he just can’t figure out by himself. The other day, not only did he read the story by himself, he sat patiently and helped his other friends who were struggling. His confidence has sky rocketed and it’s showing through in everything he does. His drawings are up in the class, the Hindi teacher speaks proudly of the rate at which he is picking up reading.

When I told Rohan’s mother about the new zest in Rohan, she had tears in her eyes. She looks like she must be in her early twenties. Younger than me for sure. She has three kids, a daughter in the 8th, a son, Abhishek, in 4th and Rohan in my class. She then tells me her story.

She got married off at a very young age. Rohan’s father, as she refers to her husband, doesn’t work. He drinks all day, lies around at home and physically and verbally abuses her and the kids everyday. She works as a maid in a couple of houses, earns whatever money she can, tries to be back home by the afternoon so that her kids aren’t left alone in the house for too long. She tells me that her kids mean everything to her, she loves them to death and she wants to work so hard so she can spend everything on them. She points to her clothes saying that I must have noticed how she is always so plainly dressed. She buys nothing for herself, she doesn’t care about herself because her kids come first. She just wants the best for them, they’re her only hope, all that she has.

I feel the genuineness in what she saying because she is not telling this to me as a sob story.  In the last 15 months I have known and talked to her, she is always smiles. That’s probably where her children get that permanent smiling face. All she wants from me is to educated her children and teach them to be good respectful individuals. A task, I think, she does way better than I will ever be able to.

And so, for the sake of Rohan’s mother, both her sons sit with me after school for serious studies followed by a space for them to be happy carefree children. For the sake of Rohan’s mother, I am more determined to instill the values of respect, compassion and determination to my class. For the sake of Rohan’s mother, I feel the responsibility of the hundreds of other children in my school, to give them their share of childhood happiness.

For the sake of Rohan’s mother and all the mothers like her, I am determined to give my best.

Hasim

This boy is meant to go places. Everyone should strive to be like Hasim. I strive to be like him. Hasim is at the top of my class. Not because of his natural intelligence, but because of that focus and determination that he has. He doesn’t care to be at the top of class, or outshining his friends. All he wants to do is push himself, better himself. And not under a depressive pressure. But because he likes that challenge. Academics is a small part of his excellence. Anything he does, he approaches it with that kind of resilience.

He is a super artist. I am envious of the details in his artwork. During silent time, he doesn’t care if the rest of the class is talking, he sits there with the calmest look on his face, eyes closed. His behaviour is impeccable. By that, I don’t mean that he sits quietly like an obedient student in class. But he rationalizes what is a better action to do in the situation and he acts accordingly. He talks in class, he plays in class, but not until his work is finished and not when his friends or anybody else is getting  disturbed. He takes everyone in to account, even himself. When his friends are being inconsiderate, he points it out to them and ensures they don’t behave like that again. He by no means thinks too much of himself. He is quiet and unassuming. Shy as hell.

He is one of 4 children. A supportive sensible mother and an irrational strict father, who doesn’t even let his children play. Any parent would be proud of having 4 exceptionally bright and courteous children, but for him, this isn’t enough. He forces them to go for tution, the children hate it, they learn nothing new, they don’t need it, but they have to because otherwise they will get beaten. He scolds them for nothing. He doesn’t let them go out of their vicinity. Not even for class trips (though I managed to convince his mother for one such trip!)

Hasim gets very emotionally affected by all this. When he’s had a bad day at home, he lets me know by the look on his face, but doesn’t say a word and doesn’t let that come in the way of what he is in class to do. His determination and focus at the age of 8 is amazing.

He defines excellence for me.

Sagar

While crossing another class one day, I saw two boys fighting. Abusing each other, one with a jhaadu and the other beating him. The next day I see the same kid, the one abusing beating his friend with a jhaadu, standing with tears in his eyes near the principals office and his mother looking at him with helpless anger. I recognized him so I go and ask what happened. I have seem him get into trouble numerous times before. He tells me that his teacher took away his bag. Something about him tearing his exam paper by mistake, or someone else did it or something. I try to give him my “you are responsible for your own life, where do you want to take it” speech in five minutes and he gives me a blank look.

His mother then gives me a little insight into his life. This boy, Sagar, has been giving him so much trouble. She is always called to hear what he’s doing wrong. His older brother is an exceptional kid, but this guy, listens to no one and only gets into trouble.  Sagar’s father is an alcoholic who doesn’t give a damn about her or their children. She works as hard as she can in the morning while they are away at school and comes back at one because she can’t leave their younger sister alone. She is trying so hard, she showers her children with love, including Sagar, and she desperately wants him to mend his ways. But Sagar doesn’t care. He’s rebellious and nalayak, as she says.

And that look on her face helped me make up my mind about what I had to do next. Sagar had to be a part of my daily school time. I had to work with him.

I don’t know what it was about him, but I just got extra determined to fix the school, not just my class, for the sake of him. I wanted to make the system better, to make schooling better, to make facilities better so that Sagar and his friends could have a better life. Seeing him come shyly to say hi to me lights up my day.

These days, he has transformed from the angry, depressed little 12 year old boy to this excited, happy, confident kid. He comes to my school after 1 to sit for extra class , he sings and dances with absolute abandon. He flashes the biggest smiles everytime I see him. He struggles to read and do simple mathematics, but he has learnt to trust that I won’t mock his inability but I will help him be better. And he tries. And he does. And he stays out of trouble. And he is always smiling.

Sagar motivates me, drives me, inspires me to better the bigger picture.

He made me realise how all some kids needs is a bit of positivity in their life. They want someone to give a damn about them. Boys, specially. We always think of how girls are the victim and how we need to educate girls to fight for their rights, but we don’t really think about educating boys to not victimize girls. Young boys are the lowest in the social standing. Nobody cares about them, they are the villains  the one ruining the peace of society. Peer pressure, family pressure, societal pressure, personal pressure, they have it all. We have to step in at an early age and make life for them and the women in their lives better.

I don’t know what it is with these people. These are people which good hearts, who make me strive for something, who make me want to take action, who give me direction in life. These are people I love and in the past few weeks they have made me realise the importance of what my time can achieve. These are people who have stood out for me in last few weeks more than others.

These are people who are inspiring every single days these days.